Choices in life…

Unknown origin of photo

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” ~Carl Jung

The little boys are getting a bit stir crazy with having to be cooped in the house with all the wet weather we’ve been having.

They went outside and headed right for the mud puddles. What is it about little boys and girls and mud puddles?  There’s like this magnetic force that draws them in mysteriously calling out, “Come over here little boy! I would be sooooo much fun to jump in and make a total mess of yourself!”  So goes with little people.  It wonders me often why they make the choice to become disgustingly filthy…

Adults like children make choices. Sometimes we jump in proverbial puddles so to speak.  Too often decisions are made hastily… hence the boys jumping in the puddle getting themselves soaked and muddy. Too often decisions are made when emotions are not in proper perspective.

Whatever the situation, a far-reaching view is necessary when making life altering decisions.

No, little boys jumping in puddles is not life altering… but what about choosing an occupation and whether to begin or end a relationship? These can have long-lasting impacts on one’s life.

I often tell my children to think before they speak or do… think about what effect the decision will have not only on themselves but others.  As my daughter, almost twenty, has told me… “They are my decisions to make…”

Yes they are… so make them wisely.
Until next time,
Jean

Self-fullfilling Prophecies

“What you think, you become; What you feel, you attract; What you imagine, you create.”
~Author Unknown

In psychology this statement would be referred to as self-fulfilling prophecies.  Can negative experiences in ones home-life, school days and work environment play a factor so strongly that it could consume and destroy ones life? What about positive stimuli effecting the opposite? “You’re an idiot!” or “You’re an absolute genius!”… if one of these statements is continually reinforced in one’s life, will it be the determining factor for that individual?

I believe it can… but I don’t think it has to. I can speak from personal experience… I grew up in a dysfunctional home in more ways than you can shake a stick at. I was not physically or sexually abused, but there were other factors that could have had a devastating effect on me. I believe there are certain things I struggle with because of the issues… but there is no way in the world I would ever allow them to control or destroy me  ….I’m too stubborn and strong-willed.

I refuse to let anything have control over me. I refuse to let the negative factors of my child-hood play that big a role in my life. I believe that they have effected the way I deal with things… and I wish I could have more victory, but I recognize it and continue to strive with the Lord’s help to press on to be better… to be stronger… to be victorious.

What you tell a child, how you treat a child and how you respond to a child can play a critical factor in the development of a child’s personality and the way they feel about themselves.  It will surely have its toll…

If you have allowed some negative things to affect your life, step back and take a deep breath and say to yourself…
“I will believe I am something good… and become that.  I will feel I am worthwhile, and I will attract that worthiness. I will imagine the life I want… and I will work at creating it.”
… and you can.

We were all children once… some of us have emotional scars and wounds.  Some of us have children and wish to be better parents and not repeat the mistakes of our parents.  And you can…. by trusting in Him and looking to the source of hope… you can.

“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
Until next time,
Jean

Character

“The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you do is who you become.” ~Heraclitus

Character is one thing that once you’ve acquired it, it becomes one with you.
The potential for a desirable character is one that should be sought after.
No matter what you attempt, you’ll eventually become what you think of yourself.
You’ll fill your life with what you feel… what you want to be… what you desire.
You are what you allow yourself to spend time with, at and in.

There’s a children’s song that goes, ‘Be careful little eyes what you see; be careful little ears what you hear; be careful little feet where you go.’ There’s something very awe-inspiring in these childish lyrics. Something so true and daunting.

What you feed grows, what you starve dies… so is true not just with living things, but with our minds and souls and hearts.

My children think I go overboard with some things… and maybe I do.  But my motives are very good and right.

They are love.
Love for their souls and their lives.

Our children will accuse us of being overbearing and too strict. They don’t understand that we genuinely want what’s best for them… for their souls. Children are seeking adventure and those forbidden things are oh so tempting.

My daughter is much like myself… that’s good and that’s bad. She is strong-willed (like me) and very determined (like me). We butt heads occasionally because of this. I want so desperately to protect her… but she has informed me, on more than one occasion, that she will have to learn some things on her own. It’s her life and she realizes that she’ll make mistakes along the road… but their her mistakes to be made. True enough.

But as a mother, I long to grab her up and hold onto her and protect her from all the evil and dangers. I long to be the shield that goes before her to withstand all the fiery darts of the wicked one.

I want to be… her mommy like when she was little.
I am not and neither is she.
Taylor is a young woman with drive and determination.
She will overcome. She will succeed. She will be the woman I know God created her to be…

Until next time,
Jean

Teachers

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us all about life.” Author unknown.

My children are a constant inspiration to me… that’s for sure.  Their lives lend a hand to teaching this mother very specific life lessons.

It’s hunting season here in the Thumb of Michigan and the boys are all revved up and ready to go. My boys are avid hunters right on down to Ryan, my eleven year old.

The other evening my oldest son Kyle came in from working and was in his usual chipper mood. He always was a pleasant child and is equally so as a young man of just sixteen.

So he comes in and starts chattering away as he gets the super I’d been keeping warm for him out of the oven and makes his plate. I told him I’d do it, but he waved me off… some days he does, and some days he doesn’t want mom to take care of that 😉

He begins relating a story he’d read in a hunting magazine about an eleven year old that got a twelve point buck. He described in detail the story and gestured how the youth was in the photo and his expressions were surly as excited as the lucky hunters.  I just sat there enjoying the time as he shared with me realizing that each of these moments is so precious to my heart.

As I sat there and listened I couldn’t help but feel this pang inside my heart… this great big love and hope that he would get a nice big buck this season as well, or at least a doe. He is so good-natured that even when he goes out and someone else gets something and he doesn’t he is honestly happy for them. He isn’t envious and bad natured about it at all. His spirit is one that finds joy in others accomplishments while getting excited about his next chance.

He is a teacher to his mom.
He shows maturity that many adults lack.
He truly has a Christ-centered attitude when it comes to the golden rule.
He exemplifies Christ’s greatest commandment… to love thy neighbor as thyself.

My hearts prayer today is that my children will know they’ve each shined forth as teachers of love in my life.

Until next time,
Jean

Never let me go…

“A mother and her child were crossing a river… the mother asked her child to please hold her hand, but the small child quickly retorted, “No, you hold my hand!” The mother looking at her child perplexed asked what the difference would be. Her child innocently replied, “If I hold your hand and something happens to me I might let go of yours. But I know that no matter what happens, you’ll never let go of mine.” Author unknown

I think we’ve all had moments with our children like the one described above. Our children have total faith and trust in us. They rely on us for their basic needs and trust that we’ll provide them. Shelter, warm meals, clean clothes and unconditional love are the four basics in my opinion with the later being of utmost importance.

When I look at my children and reminese over the years gone by with the older ones, there is a longing that I would have done things differently… done things with a bit more patience… thought things through a bit more clearly.  I don’t think I’m the only mom to feel that way. I also look back over the years and believe that I did my best with what I had at those moments… I know that my heart was in the right place…  I know that I genuinely tried to show them love the best I could.

I’ve always said that being a mother is schooling in itself… no matter how many little souls you claim. Yes, the more you are blessed with can add it’s challenges. The different personalities and temperaments… the easy ones and the tad-bit more difficult ones. Parenting is by far life’s largest classroom.

…but in the end I believe that if we can look back and say, “I did my very best and gave all the love my heart could give…”

They’ll know
They’ll forgive our short-comings
They’ll be able to come to us and thank us for all we did… faults and all

A mother holds her child’s hand only for a short while.  Before we know it they’re ‘too big’ for that and even more quickly they’re off and on the wings of adulthood.  Although some days I feel like I’m just stumbling about, I know deep in my heart that I love being a mommy and wouldn’t change that a bit… and I’ll never let them go.

Until next time,
Jean

The Loss of a Child

It’s been three years since a good friends young daughter, only twenty-one at the time, died of cancer.  She’d recently been married… just six short months when she was diagnosed with liver cancer. The tumor, quite large by now was said to be inoperable due to its location… on a main artery.

Laura fought an agonizing battle for just more than a year. Though she chose all natural therapy, which I commend her for… it was too far gone.

I remember when we all found out… you just wonder “why?”

Memories of days gone past came rushing in.

I remembered the time I took Laura out driving with our cameras because she wanted me to teach her how to ‘capture moments’… we had such a fun day.

I remembered the years I took our school children’s photo’s and she and her cousin were my assistants.

I remembered her vibrant, bouncy, youthful air… her love for life… her joy that overflowed to all around… her beautiful voice when she sang… her radiant smile.

I remember when we found out and I looked at my daughter Taylor only a bit younger.  I was so thankful it wasn’t her.

I remember feeling so selfish. I loved Laura and I loved her mom… we’re friends. But my god, I was so glad it wasn’t Taylor.

I remember the day Taylor and I went for a visit.  She was laying on the couch… a bulging balloon-like thing under the covers where her stomach should have been. She was always thin, but now a skeleton… why?

I remember her smile and chipper attitude as we visited… that was Laura…

I remember pulling out of the driveway realizing it wouldn’t be long and we’d soon get the call for funeral arrangements…

I remember pulling our of the driveway looking at Taylor and being so grateful it wasn’t her…

I remember thinking about my friend and what it must feel like to watch her beloved daughter die… and not being able to do anything about it…

I felt numb.

Can anything compare to the love a mother has in her heart for her child…
Can the depth of devotion be any stronger… any purer…
Can the ache in our heart when they ache be any fiercer…

I write this tonight for all those that have lost a child to this monster…
I write in memory for your lose and your pain…
I write it humbly, not truly understanding that pain, yet honoring it…

Until next time,
Jean

The Love of a Child

A few weeks ago it was a warm, sunny day and I was canning.  All of a sudden Evan comes storming in the house and runs up to me.  Looking at me so innocently he says, “Mom…. the sun is shining and it’s warm outside. Why don’t you come out…(very, very exaggerated with the ‘out’).

“Well Evan… I wish I could, but mom’s got to get these tomatoes canned…”

“But the sun is shining… just don’t can!”

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. My heart was radiating such love for my dear little boy who knows how much his mom treasures being outdoors.  I wiped my hands on a towel and knelt down so I could look him in his eyes… “Evan… if I don’t can what would we eat?”

“Just buy the stuff!” he says quite emphatically without truly understanding what that would mean.

I gazed in his eyes a bit and with my hands on his elbows brought him closer to me.  “Evan… we could never buy all the good things that mom cans for us. I know what we are eating and I don’t want to buy those things in the store. That’s why we garden… and that’s why I can. I wish I could come outside, but I love you so much, I’m going to finish canning…”

He looked at me with his just-turned six-year-old eyes and I could tell he was trying to understand, but in his heart, he wanted me to be happy in the sunshine and the gardens… with him.

I often talk about my love for my children and just the overall love of a mother… but what about the unconditional love our children have for us?

They’re so forgiving of our busyness… of our short tempers…
They’re always there with a hug, a kiss and big “I love you’s”…

They’re inquisitive natures and insatiable curiosities can be overwhelming some days…  But I must remember… they won’t be little long.

My hearts prayer is that as my children grow into adulthood they will always know how much I cherished their unconditional love…

Until next time,
Jean

I Need Thee, Oh I Need Thee, arrangement by Sam Robson

This is not a post of mine… this is a link to a young mans A Cappella music video of I Need Thee Oh I Need Thee…

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=sam+robson+i+need+thee&qs=HS&form=QBVR&pq=sam+rob&sc=8-7&sp=1&sk#view=detail&mid=0960DFE81C10195EB2150960DFE81C10195EB215

This moved me beyond any words that I could write here…

I hope you’ll take the time to watch this young mans soul cry out to the Lord…

Be blessed,
Jean

Irony

“Life is so ironic. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence.”
Lessons Learned in Life

With six children, five of them boys,
the youngest two ages six and three…
silence is rare and golden to this mommy.

I write after everyone is in bed…

When…
the house is quiet and I can feel.

I can feel the void.
I can feel the emptiness.
I can feel the ache.
I can feel the silence that brings peace to a long day.

When…
the house is quiet and I can see.

I can see in my minds thoughts.
I can see my hearts aches and joys.
I can see moments I treasure.
Moments I want to capture here forever.
I can see what my soul is hungry for.

When…
the house is quiet and I can hear.

I can hear the silence that I treasure so deeply.
I can hear the soft hum of the flames in the cook stove.
I can hear the gentle crackling of the wood.
I can hear my heart and what it’s telling me.

When…
the house is quiet and I can.

My days will not forever be filled with the racket of little boys.
Toy trucks and tractors plowing the fields of corn on the living room carpet.
Talking and playing and banging and screeching.
Little boy noise.
Noise that seems endless will all too soon be only a memory.

I know that I will miss it eventually…
I know.

But right now…
I long for silence.
Just a bit of silence in the wee hours of the night.
Here in the dark hours is where I find my silence
until the morning sun rises
and my day begins afresh…

With my beloved little boy noise.

Until next time,
Jean

Little Boys

Sometimes I ask myself, “What in the world was the child thinking?”

Like when one took a blue permanent marker and colored on the wall beside the bed.

Like when they decided to play kick ball in the house and broke a window.

Like when they’re coloring famously and then suddenly stop… look at the crayon quite seriously… and then start snapping them in half.

Why? Do adults do that? I’m not sure, but I don’t think so… at least not rational thinking ones… pardon me to anyone reading this that may have done the above listed offences as an adult! But seriously, have you ever wondered this?

I have to believe that I’m not the only mom that has!

So, today Evan comes in the back door and very calmly and seriously says to me (as he’s taking off his boots), “Mom… Aaron just took my toy and threw it in the hole for the pond (not a big pond, just my little fish pond). He’s so mean!”

He didn’t really seem upset, other than his sleeve and pants were a bit muddy and wet from ‘fishing’ (no pun intended) his toy out of the little hole.

I ask him, “Where is Aaron?”

“He’s outside still,” says Evan

“Is he coming in?”

“Yeah! He’s comin’ in! He’s mean!” …off he goes to get into some dry clothes.

A couple of minutes later the back door opens again and in walks Aaron. He looks at me a bit bedazzled and starts his gibber relating his side of the story like only a three-year old can … as if he knew I was waiting to hear it.  He kicks off his boots, walks on up into the kitchen, rambles off a few more defenses and off he goes to find Evan.

I waited.  Waited some more. No problem.

So on I went peeling apples with my friend who’d come over for the day. We looked at each other and just chuckled.

Boys are kinda’ like that. If you have boys, you know exactly what I mean. They duke it out and get on with the game.  No fuss, no muss!

After awhile the laughter started and the tussling and the happy playing.

It was a good day… and I think they must have duked it out before they came in.

Until next time,
Jean