The Loss of a Child

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It’s been three years since a good friends young daughter, only twenty-one at the time, died of cancer.  She’d recently been married… just six short months when she was diagnosed with liver cancer. The tumor, quite large by now was said to be inoperable due to its location… on a main artery.

Laura fought an agonizing battle for just more than a year. Though she chose all natural therapy, which I commend her for… it was too far gone.

I remember when we all found out… you just wonder “why?”

Memories of days gone past came rushing in.

I remembered the time I took Laura out driving with our cameras because she wanted me to teach her how to ‘capture moments’… we had such a fun day.

I remembered the years I took our school children’s photo’s and she and her cousin were my assistants.

I remembered her vibrant, bouncy, youthful air… her love for life… her joy that overflowed to all around… her beautiful voice when she sang… her radiant smile.

I remember when we found out and I looked at my daughter Taylor only a bit younger.  I was so thankful it wasn’t her.

I remember feeling so selfish. I loved Laura and I loved her mom… we’re friends. But my god, I was so glad it wasn’t Taylor.

I remember the day Taylor and I went for a visit.  She was laying on the couch… a bulging balloon-like thing under the covers where her stomach should have been. She was always thin, but now a skeleton… why?

I remember her smile and chipper attitude as we visited… that was Laura…

I remember pulling out of the driveway realizing it wouldn’t be long and we’d soon get the call for funeral arrangements…

I remember pulling our of the driveway looking at Taylor and being so grateful it wasn’t her…

I remember thinking about my friend and what it must feel like to watch her beloved daughter die… and not being able to do anything about it…

I felt numb.

Can anything compare to the love a mother has in her heart for her child…
Can the depth of devotion be any stronger… any purer…
Can the ache in our heart when they ache be any fiercer…

I write this tonight for all those that have lost a child to this monster…
I write in memory for your lose and your pain…
I write it humbly, not truly understanding that pain, yet honoring it…

Until next time,
Jean

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