…and then we said goodnight

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I laid down in the dark last night, snuggling into the baby thinking about the day and what tomorrow will hold. Sadness filled my heart and overflowed out of my eyes…

I know she’ll be okay… I know she’ll do well… I know that she will actually do better there…
I know it still hurts to say good-bye…

She called me this morning and we talked… I tried not to cry. I tried to sound optimistic and encouraging, but the lump in my throat and the ache of my heart was very difficult to hide…

I told her I missed her and I couldn’t wait for her to come home… I sounded really excited when she talked about the fish fry they had last night and how much fun it was… I tried to sound enthusiastic about her helping get ready for Sunday dinner company… as she was sweeping the floor… I tried not to let her hear the sadness in my heart…

Truly I am happy for her.
Truly I want the very best for her.
Truly I pray that she will find happiness and fulfillment in her life… even though she’s a few hours away. It’s only a few hours and not days like some.

I don’t want her to remember the naggy mom telling her what’s the next thing on her list.
I don’t want her to remember the times I lost my patience and snapped.
I don’t want her to remember when I lost my temper and reacted poorly.
I don’t want her to remember me ever being to busy to listen.

My heart is praying every moment of the day that as we walk this new road together, yet separate… I am always there for her… no matter what.

…but ya know what? I think this is all going to draw us closer and we’re going to be the friends I’ve always dreamed we’d be!

She called tonight and we talked and we laughed… and she told me all about her day… and I was happy with tears in my eyes…. and then we said good night.

Until next time!
Jean

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